Saturday, June 18th… “Good morning.  Have a fun and relaxing vacation.  Enjoy the nice weather you will be having.  Have fun with the kids and the animals too.  You deserve to have this trip.  No worries.  Everything is going to be fine with me.  The steroids have helped.  Woke up at 5:30 this morning and had to eat.  Wow!  Good thing the cat wasn’t home.  Lol.  Please enjoy your time.  Thanks for everything you and your family do for me.  Love you.  Safe travels.   Watch out for those bears.  Lol.” ‘Thanks, Laura.  Glad you are doing better.  I’m not sure if you would tell me the full story anyway.  Would…

  Thursday, June 2nd, 2016.  11:52 A.M… “Can you come up to work about 2:15/2:30 today?” ‘Probably so.’ “Okay, thank you.”   Well, I wonder what this is all about.  She asked Luisa and I to meet her in the office.  Maybe now, she is ready to talk.   I arrived at the daycare a little after 2.  We talked and visited until Luisa could join us.  Laura… She seemed okay.  A little skittish and nervous at first, but after a while, she was acting more like herself.  Luisa finished what she was doing then came to the office to join us.  She asked Laura how she was feeling… Laura…

Thursday, May 5th, 2016.  Journal entry…   “Today was a good day.  Was able to clean a little.  Still have more to do but trying to do a little at a time.  Went to see the nurse’s at Centerpoint to let them know the good news.  It was good to see everyone.  It was nice to know that Dr. R. asks about me and is keeping up with my progress.  Took the nurse’s brownies and chocolates.  Had lunch with Deb.  She filled me in on the field trip yesterday.  Picked up the kids from daycare and then took them home.  Jared took us to dinner at Culver’s, then we went…

  ‘I know this is not an official ‘chemo day’, but there is something I want to share.  I told you how I follow Rory Feek’s blog.  He is that fellow that recently lost his wife.  He is raising their 2-year-old little girl with Down Syndrome.  He is writing about their weekend at camp.  He wrote about what they have done, and how these little kids find joy in the things that we take for granted.  He said his favorite part of the weekend was meeting a 12-year-old little girl who was blind.  A moment he said, he will never forget.  She was recently given the chance to see, by…

  Tuesday, April 19th, 2016.  Journal entry… “I’m feeling pretty good today.  My sisters from Fort Scott are coming up for a few days.  We are going to have some sister & mom pictures taken today over by Bass Pro.  Had a really good time.  The pictures were good.  Had a nice lunch at Bass Pro talking about stuff for Rachel’s wedding.  It was a good time.  After that, we all went to the cemetery to visit Dad.  We put some fresh flowers on his grave.  It was good and sad at the same time.  We miss him so much.  The tombstone looks very nice.  My sister, Debbie, helped me…

Saturday, April 9th, 2016.  Journal entry…   “Rachel woke me up to say that David was in the hospital.  It might be his heart.  He was having trouble breathing.  I told her we needed to go home.  We got up and got ready to go.  Jared was at the hospital with him and stayed until 10.  We got there around 1.  David is having a lot of muscle spasms.  He is in a lot of pain.  They are trying to control it.  His breathing is not good.  He has fluid around his heart.  They will be doing an echo test on Monday.  He has a fever, so giving him antibiotics. …

Friday, March 25th, 2016.  Journal entry…   “Today I am feeling very tired and weak.  Today was Disney on Ice.  I fell asleep a couple of times.  It was a good show, but I was so tired.  The kids came back, and we ate a sandwich, then they went home for naps.  I napped too.  I was so tired.  My energy is gone but I had such a good day with them.  I’m still having a hard time.  Just very down right now.  Trying hard to pull through this and get to my happy place.  Cough is still here but better.” Saturday, March 26th, 2016…   “Got up and got…

Wednesday, chemo day message…   ‘I’ve been sitting here waiting for the words to come.  The words just aren’t coming.  It’s hard to think of a pick me up, a cheer me up, when just the day before, you can see the pain in a person’s face.  What do you say when that person just wants to feel good?  There aren’t any words to fix this.  There isn’t a single thing to make you feel better.  Today, I empathize with you.  I’m going to hope your smile comes back and you can once again feel good.’ Wednesday, March 16th, 2016.  Journal entry…   “Treatment number 2.  All went well.  She…

  “I just want to hit something.  I am tired of coughing.  It sucks.” ‘I know a few people you can hit.  Did they say how long you would be coughing?’ “Lol.  No.  It is so frustrating.” ‘Do you feel any better?’ “I am ok.” ‘Just ok??’ “Yes.” ‘Is it a tickle or are you coughing up stuff?’ “I am coughing up stuff.” ‘Well, are you any happier?’ “I am ok.” ‘That seems to be your word for today.  Are you still running a fever?’ “Yes.  Just ok.  In a funk.  Don’t really want to talk about it or anything right now.  Not mad or anything.  Just nothing.  Fever 99.5.”…

  The closer it got to Laura’s next appointment, the more on edge Laura was.  It seems like anything anyone would say, she would end up taking it the wrong way.  I didn’t say anything to her.  Instead, I watched as she went about her week.  She didn’t talk about her cancer.  She didn’t talk about her appointment.  She didn’t talk about the kids, the grandkids or anything.  If I asked her a simple question about eating, it was as if you accused her of doing something wrong.  The fact is… She let it slip that she wasn’t eating again.  I know she is stressed.  Who wouldn’t be?  However, I’m…