Chapter 43
“They were in my car. I was taking out my heated seat cushions and there they were. Do you know how many people looked in my car? Omg.”
‘What was in your car?’
“My keys.”
‘Seriously?? In the driver’s seat? You didn’t feel them under your butt?? Haha.’
“Yes, in my seat. No, I couldn’t feel them. Other people drove my car too and didn’t feel them. Crazy.”
‘That’s nuts.’
“I know. Right?”
‘So, you finally thought you didn’t need your heated seat cushions anymore, since it’s going to be 110 degrees out. Huh?’
“Lol. I was cleaning and vacuuming out my car.”
‘Just think, you blamed the babies. Ha!’
“Lol. It’s crazy.”
Luisa… “Didn’t I look for your keys in your car?”
Laura… “Yes, you did.”
Luisa… “I can’t believe I didn’t find them.”
Laura… “Me either.”
Deb… ‘I can’t believe Laura sat on them for 2 months and didn’t know it. Hahaha.’
Laura… “You’re funny, Deb. You checked my car too. By the way, I’m closing all week. I will go into work around 12. Deb, I will need you on Thursday, to help if you can.”
Luisa… “Debbie, are you helping next week?”
Deb… ‘Yeah, I’m going to. You don’t need to worry. Be careful on your trip.’
Luisa… “We didn’t leave on the mission trip until 9:40 this morning. We have had several issues. Mark is driving his truck. I’m telling you guys, this is an adventure.”
Laura… “Why is he driving his truck?”
Luisa… “The van broke down last night. We found out this morning, so we had to scramble to figure something out. We rented a U-Haul trailer.”
Laura… “Oh boy!”
The girls at the dance studio had a recital this weekend. They were celebrating their 20th year in business. Studio 3V Dance Center is where Laura was a dance mom. She has been a part of this dance family since Amanda and Rachel were small. Studio 3V is run by Jennie, Stacey (who works with us) and their mom, Carol. To Laura… These ladies are more than just a dance family, they are her family. She loves them all.
Friday night, they held their recital. Clint and I went to watch all these children perform. There were preschool kids and teenagers, dance dads and dance moms. Many of these young mothers were students of Jennie’s when they were young. A second generation of dancers is growing up inside of Studio 3V’s doors. Love and family is what this dance center is all about.
The little ones were cute and the older ones sure can perform. A couple of the dance routines were performed by former alumni dancers. They came back to dance with Stacey and Jennie once more. It was great to see so many of them doing what they used to love.
That evening, there was a special performance. One, I don’t think Laura knew anything about. Jennie, Stacey, Amanda, and Rachel danced to one of Laura’s favorite songs… ‘I’m Gonna Love You Through It’ by Martina McBride. This song is about loving someone through cancer. The choreography was beautiful, and the tribute they gave would melt your heart. I don’t think there was a dry eye in that entire auditorium. At the end, they called Laura up on stage and presented her a bouquet of flowers.
Love can be shared through words. Love can be shared through actions. Love is beautiful when it is shared through dance.
Jennie, Stacey, Carol… Thank you. Your friend Laura loves you so much.
‘The girls were beautiful last night. I know you had to be proud. It was a great show. Clint even enjoyed it.’
“Thank you. It was so good. I loved it. It made me cry.”
‘Are you feeling any better?’
“I’m doing ok. My throat is sore but doing ok.”
‘We are on our way to St. Louis.’
“Have fun.”
‘Do you have a fever today?’
“No”
‘What have you been doing?’
“Nothing.”
‘Has your company gone home?’
“Yes.”
‘So why all the one-word answers? Are you feeling down?’
“No. Just I don’t know.”
‘Get out of the house. What else do you need help with for the wedding?’
“I can’t even think right now. I think that is why I have all the short answers.”
‘I know the feeling. You will be alright.’
Monday morning…
“Deb, are you at work?”
‘No. I’m on my way there now.’
“Ok. Don’t say anything. I’m going to the doctor this morning. Oxygen level a little low. Please don’t say anything until I text you.”
‘What does that mean? Are you having a hard time breathing or what?’
“A little. Thought it was my heart rate.”
‘Ok, let me know how it goes.’
Laura called and left me a message. I only know this because I can tell by a series of texts. When something major goes on that interferes with her being able to work, she sends out a group message instead. I will do my best to share what has happened…
“I had my right lung drained today. Feeling better. Had a long talk with Dr. M. and my patient advocate. My gut tells me to go back to their office. He said he would send my stuff off to MD Anderson and do whatever he can for me. I just feel more comfortable going back to this office. Please pray for me. I want to be here and live a long happy life. In a few days, hopefully I will feel better. Love you all.”
I walked into the daycare with Amanda. She gave me the rundown on what was going on. This is the second time Laura needed her lung drained. I wonder if this is going to be something she needs to have done from now on.
‘Hi Laura, Amanda told me what happened. Listen to whatever your gut tells you. Do whatever you feel good about.’
“Ok. I have made up my mind. I am going back to Dr. M.’s office. That is what my gut is telling me.”
‘You are the one who knows what’s best for you. Are you feeling any better? Did they do the same procedure as last time?’
“I’m feeling ok. Breathing is better. Yes, they did the same procedure on the same lung.”
‘I was up at work when you sent the first message. I left around 3 and went home to check on the dogs. Remember, I am watching Brandi’s dogs right now. I came back up here at 4. I finally talked Kathy into leaving and letting me close. She doesn’t want you to know that I am closing. You two are quite the pair. Ha. I told her it was okay to just let me help out this week.’
Text to Amanda…
‘Are you doing, ok?’
“Thank you for checking on me. I really appreciate you listening to me and being supportive and all your prayers. Thank you.”
‘Anytime. We are all in this together. We are going to get your mom well.’
“Thank you. My biggest wish is for her to be better.”
6:05 P.M text to Laura…
‘Daycare is closed up and all is good.’
“Thank you.”
Forty-five minutes later…
“Deb, I don’t want to die. I just want the best care. Please give me your honest opinion.”
Well obviously, I didn’t answer this message with a text. I picked up the phone and called her. I told her she had to make the decision for herself. No one could make that decision for her. I believe part of the healing process, is feeling comfortable with where you are at. I let her know that we would all support her with whatever decision she wanted to make. She knew what was best for her.
Tuesday morning, she sent me a text…
“I’m feeling better. I talked it over with my family and made the call to KU. They said they would send my paperwork over to Dr. M.’s office. That was it. I am up and dressed. Had some rice. My throat is still dealing me a fit. Getting ready to work on wedding stuff. Breathing is better. Just need to get up and move around. Need to build my strength back up.”
‘Glad you feel better. Go you!’
“Yep. I am trying.”
Later that afternoon…
‘I know some people think I am off my rocker because of the things I believe in. My way of thinking is so different than a lot of other people. At least Clint thinks the same way I do. Anyway, I talk to God all the time. I always have. I ask a lot of questions and believe in what I feel are the answers I receive. When I was at Brandi’s house, I walked over to look out their picture glass window. A red cardinal was sitting out in the tree. Last night, I didn’t sleep well. I don’t want to tell you what to do or say the wrong thing. You asked me how I felt about your decision, and I told you to find your peace. I read my daily devotional today, it was about peace. Go figure. Before I even read this, I prayed that God would give you the right answer. The one you had peace about. I went to let the dog out and another red cardinal flew into my tree here at home. I left the house to go do my errands and I’m talking to God again. I asked… Is that bird a sign? Is this the right answer? As I was driving down 291, at eye level with my windshield, another red cardinal flew across the highway in front of me. I choose to Believe.’
“Thanks, Deb. I do believe.”
I sent her a picture of a shadow of a person looking up to the sky. The saying… ~Let your Faith be bigger than your Fear. ~
Wednesday, July 27th, 2016. Chemo day…
“Well, I don’t want to get yelled at this week (haha) so I better come up with a chemo day message and send it. First off… Brandi is home from her cruise. She woke up at 4 this morning and drove here. She got here about 7:20 this morning. I can’t believe she did that. She has been telling us all about her trip. They had a really good time. My message today is… I am glad you are going back to Dr. M.’s office. I know how comfortable you feel with him and all his nurses. They truly care about you and your family. I know that means a lot to you. I can tell you are so much happier about this decision. I know you trust them and feel you are in great hands.’
“Thanks Debbie. Enjoy your visit with Brandi.”
Later that night…
‘How did your appointment go today?’
“Good. I am doing good. Working on wedding stuff right now. What is Clint’s beer of choice? We are doing 30 cases of beer. I think we are going to get it at HyVee because they will take it back if not all is used. We can get the ice there too.”
‘Clint drinks Miller Lite. You should ask them if they will keep the cases cold until you can pick it up that morning. Clint could pick it up. It would be so much better if it was already cold.’
“That’s a good idea. I will check with them. Is Brandi going back home tomorrow?”
‘No, tonight. She has to go into work tomorrow. She was so excited telling us about her trip. Rachel and Austin still home?’
“Nope. She will be home on Saturday.”
‘I wish Brandi wouldn’t leave so late. I hate when she has to drive at night. Sorry I let out my frustrations to you and Luisa yesterday. Sometimes, I just don’t understand people.’
“All is good. It’s time to be positive in life. We all need to do what God wants us to do. Be kind and be who we are. That’s it.”
‘Brandi brought me back a trinket holder. It is shaped like a moose head. She said she looked for some cute bear stuff but liked this one so much better. It is usually us moms that are supposed to bring the kids back something not the other way around.’
“That’s cool. My girls bring me back something from their vacations too. So neat.”
Life was getting super busy for Laura. It was getting closer to time for the wedding. She was doing last minute things that she had been putting off. Things like getting her wig trimmed and picking up some last-minute gifts. Luisa and I offered up our help with anything that needed to be done. “I got it” she said. “I’m doing alright.” So why is she being so quiet? There was something else going on with Laura. Something she didn’t want to talk about with either one of us. All she would say was… “It will be fine.” We figured out it had something to do with work. Luisa said she had a conversation with Kathy. I’m not sure if the decision to apply for disability had come up or if she was worried about the time she would need off if accepted to MD Anderson. She never would tell us. We didn’t push it either. We tried to ask her about it, but we had to let it go. At one point in our conversation Luisa said… “Let go and let God and remember ASAP.” She uses that a lot. Laura and I had to ask her what it meant. ASAP means… Always Stop And Pray. I like that. Thanks, Luisa.
Sunday, July 31st….
“Hey Deb, how was your day?”
‘Ok and you?’
“I haven’t felt too good.”
‘Are you still tired or are you having stomach issues? You said the other day your stomach was bothering you.’
“No, not my stomach. I have a fever. I haven’t done anything to cause it.”
I checked in again Monday evening…
‘How are you feeling?’
“Better, thank you. How’s Luisa doing?”
‘She is doing okay. So glad it wasn’t worse. I’m glad BOTH of them are okay.’
Luisa and Mark were in a car accident. Luisa said they were okay but had some pretty good bruises from the seatbelt. She showed me hers that day at work. ‘Good grief, Luisa. I’m glad you guys are okay.’ That bruise was huge. It was deep in color and hard to look at. I know she must be hurting.
‘Hey, I keep forgetting to ask… Stacey wanted to know if any of us used our Royals tickets from that game that got rained out. Luisa hasn’t and neither have we. Stacey thinks it would be fun if we all planned to go together.’
“Yes, lets do that. That sounds good.”
“Hey Laura, you’re going to start feeling better tomorrow. I hope you know that. Then you are going to have a wonderful week, one of the best. It’s wedding week, don’t forget to enjoy it. Sometimes you can find yourself so busy that you forget to stop and take it all in.’
“Thanks, Debbie, I will.”
Text from Amanda…
“I called Dr. M.’s office today and got my mom some antibiotics. She said she could start her steroid pack. I don’t think Mom was very happy with me, but nothing will get better with her if people don’t know.
‘Good. I just heard from her. She said she is feeling better.’
“We just told her that I called them. She didn’t know we called.”
‘She will get over it.’
“I know, but I think she is upset. I don’t want to worry about her this week.”
‘I want her to have a good week too.’
“I feel like she is getting quiet. I don’t like that feeling.”
‘I’ll check in with her.’
“Ok. Thank you.”
‘Hey Laura, what do you need help with today?’
“All is good. My sisters came in today.”
‘Good. Are they still there now?’
“No, they have left.”
‘What did you do today?’
“Gave orders. Lol.”
‘Haha. You are good at that. You have been bossing me around at work for almost 19 years.’
“No, I haven’t. Lol. Can Clint pick up the pop and stuff here at my house on Friday?”
‘Do you want him to get it on Friday or on Saturday morning? He can come and get it and take it straight to the Pavilion then go pick up the beer. Whatever you want him to do.’
“Can we do Friday? How many men does he need here to help him?”
‘He has Chase. They can handle it.’
“Ok. If he needs someone, let me know. The girls called the doctor’s office on me today.”
‘About??’
“My cough and when to start the steroid. They gave me an antibiotic and told me to start the steroids today.”
‘Well good. You want to feel good for the wedding, now don’t you? Take the medicine.’
The Doctor prescribed Laura a steroid pack. This would help her build her strength up and hopefully help her feel good for the wedding. We all want her to feel her best. Laura wants that too. She wants to enjoy this wedding more than anything. It’s one of her dreams that is coming true. I don’t blame the girls for calling about her cough. She has been coughing pretty hard this week. And we all know when she coughs this hard, she is coughing up some stuff. She doesn’t need that this week.
This week is a time for joy.
‘I asked Luisa how she was feeling today. She said she is pretty sore.’
“I know. I checked on her too.”
‘I feel so bad for her. I told her if she needs any help to just say so.’
A couple of hours later…
‘Laura.’
“Deb.”
‘Do you know I have 2.2 GB of text messages on my phone? Chase looked it up. Holy crap!’
“Lol.”
Wednesday August 3rd…
‘Happy Birthday, Rachel!’
“Thanks Debbie.”
Wednesday afternoon…
“Does Clint have a dolly?”
‘Yes, he is planning on bringing it.’
“Okay. How about ten o’clock on Friday? David will be here to help. I need to be at the church to let the crew in to work on the food. Don’t tell David you are unloading and reloading. Lol. I told him you were parking the truck in the garage. I know. I know. I didn’t want you to have to do that either. Everything else is bought and ready.”
‘It’s okay. We got it. It’s your baby’s birthday! 26 years old. Ahhh!’
“Yep. I am feeling old. Lol.”
Texts were going out right and left. Everyone was helping get things ready for this wedding. Food was being made ahead of time and packed into dishes. Laura and her sisters always do such a great job. Clint and Austin’s folks were in charge of the beer and pop. Luisa, Kathy, and I helped with the food. It’s crunch time to get everything ready and Laura was feeling pretty good.
Friday, August 5th…
‘We got it all. Check out the back of Clint’s truck.’
I sent several pictures of the load we carried home. The back of Chase’s truck was full, and the back of Clint’s was full too. We even had to put a few things in the backseat.
“Wow! Looks like you are having a party.”
‘I asked Clint if it brought back memories. He laughed and said, it brings back nightmares. Haha.’
“Lol. Thank you for everything.”
‘When we get there… Beer and pop go in the big fridge, right? Is it a double fridge? If so, do you want both sides filled up?’
“The double fridge is for all the beer, pop and water. The small refrigerator is for our cold food. I am at church.”
‘Are you praying? Haha. What are you praying about? Just kidding. We will bring that stuff by when my kids get here. Relax. The fun is just beginning. Don’t forget to enjoy it.’
“Thanks Debbie, I will.”
Wedding Day… Tomorrow, August 6th, 2016.