Chapter 17
We went on with our travels and ended up at Niagara Falls. It is more powerful and beautiful than you could ever imagine. We made sure to tour both the U.S. and Canada side. Both sides were equally amazing. I will say one thing I found interesting… The dollar drinks from McDonalds in New York will cost you three dollars. Be prepared.
I haven’t heard much from Laura. We haven’t had any more of those lengthy conversations since the one I had with her in the golf cart. By looking at my texts, there were maybe three or four messages a day. Most of them saying… “How’s your trip going? Where are you at? Guess what? I’m working every day and doing great. The girls have been wonderful helping me out.” This might be the longest streak of not having a serious conversation. I will take it as… She must be doing alright.
Clint and I have been busy sightseeing. Laura, she’s been spending her free time with Amanda and the grandkids. I don’t think there is any other place Laura would like to be. Spending time with her girls is what makes her happy.
She still manages to check in though. She wants to know where we are and what we’re doing. I even joked with her by saying… ‘It’s a good thing we have modern technology, or you wouldn’t be hearing from me for 15 days.’ Laura’s response to that was, “I know. I would be going crazy. LOL.”
We overnighted in Louisville on our way back home. Early the next morning, we heard several loud explosions. If you didn’t know better, you would think someone was setting off a bunch of bombs.
Laura sent a text around 9 A.M. asking me how we were doing. “Good morning. Where are you at now?” I answered, ‘We are in Louisville. Yesterday we went to Churchill Downs.’ “That’s nice. Are you stopping anywhere on your way home?” ‘Yes, St. Louis to visit a couple of kids.’ “When you get home, let’s do lunch. I have my CT scan on Tuesday. We can get lunch after that. I want you to help me write something.” ‘Okay, I can do that. Are you worrying about the scan?’ “No not worried. All is good. I am good. Are you doing okay? You are scaring me.”
I didn’t know what she was talking about. I didn’t think I said or did anything that would let her believe something was wrong. The last few days she has been texting me, she knew we have been enjoying our trip and my funk was completely gone. I answered her back, ‘Why am I scaring you?’ “I don’t know. I just have a feeling.”
On the other side of the hill from our campground is the interstate. The way the campground is situated you really couldn’t hear any traffic from above. The campsites were located to the west and bottom of this very tall hill. We were worried about traffic noise when we first arrived, but soon found out the hill seemed to have blocked all the noise.
4:15 in the morning changed all that. We were shaken from our beds by four loud booms. One right after the other. I seriously wondered if someone had set off a bomb. I jumped out of my bed to look out the window. I couldn’t see anything that was wrong. Everything looked like it should have. The campground was quiet, everything was dark, and no one was out moving around. Nothing followed the four loud booms. Not a flash of light, not sirens, no police cars, or firetrucks. Nothing except peace and quiet. It wasn’t until later, after we left, when we found out what was wrong.
We hooked up the camper and took off for home. As we were entering the highway off the ramp, we saw several police cars and firetrucks. The entire highway was lit up with red lights. In the middle of the interstate was a burnt-out semi-tractor trailer truck. The front of the cab was completely smashed in.
There was construction work taking place on the highway. The lanes were narrowed with plenty of equipment stacked up on the shoulder. According to the traffic report on the radio, the truck driver hit the concrete barrier that separated the construction work from the traffic lanes. This caused his gas tanks to explode. All of this happened about an eighth of a mile from where we were staying. No wonder the sound of it was so strong.
As we approached the wreck, we could see the burnt-out mess of a cab. It was all mangled and black. You could still see the smoke coming from it and the smell was just like you would imagine. The news report said the driver was okay, so that was good. By the looks of the truck we were starting to wonder. The crazy part of it all was the front side of the trailer had a big hole. From what we could tell, it looked like it had been blown off. It was definitely a scary site to see. We are so thankful no one was hurt.
When I answered Laura’s text about her question, I assured her we were fine. For a moment she didn’t believe me. I promised her I was okay. I told her about the wreck we saw that morning and the booms we heard in the middle of the night. I teased her by saying… ‘What? Now you think stuff is happening to me when it’s not. I told you we were fine. Maybe you had some kind of mental telepathy. Ha.’ You know some people really do have feelings like that. We will leave it as that.
I know one thing… Clint and I are glad we have friends who care about us. Laura’s text… “Glad things are going okay. Miss you.”
The last stop before home was in St. Louis to see the kids. This would be our first time of seeing them since their wedding.
Dave’s folks live close to the campground. So, after we arrived, we drove out to their house to visit with the kids. Brandi and Dave spend a lot of their weekends at their place. They have a small lake to fish and swim at, and they are walking distance to the Meramec river. Brandi wanted us to come spend the day with them at the river. She was excited for us to spend time with their family and friends.
We stayed a few hours, then went back to our campground. Brandi and Dave wanted to see the grandparents and visit with our friends. Clint cooked dinner for everyone, cleaned up, and then made us a nice campfire. We spent the rest of the evening sitting around talking and making smores. This might be the best part of our trip. We had a good time. It was fun. We enjoyed listening to the kids talk about married life. Gosh, it’s going to be hard when we have to say goodbye.
Before our night ended, Brandi and I took a nice walk.
Laura texted me that night, right before bed. She wanted to know how everyone was doing. I shared a little about our day and said everyone was doing fine.
“I bet it was fun, she said. “I’m glad you got to visit with them. Now they need to come and visit you.” ‘New beginnings, Laura. You know it’s coming. Don’t you?’
I decided to tell her how I really feel…
‘Brandi and I took a walk around the campground. We took our time just talking and catching up. I know we talk every day on the phone, that is different. You just don’t realize the small things you miss. Enjoy your moments. You hear me? You don’t miss it until your life changes.’
Laura knew what that meant. She knew this change in life was coming for her too. “I know. I will enjoy every minute with her. She is in Iowa now.” Rachel was spending more time with Austin. She was starting to make weekly trips. Their relationship keeps growing stronger. Change was coming soon.
Laura used these words again…
“Change can be different, but it can also be good. We just have to make the time to see them more.”
Laura adapted to change much easier than I did. I hate change and she knew it. I am not sure if she was saying this for my benefit or for hers. This isn’t the first time she has said it.
Laura’s text… “I will be with you thru this, and then you can go thru this with me.”
‘Okay Laura. We’ll do that. Enjoy your time together and all the little things. Those are the moments you will miss. No matter how well you prepare yourself, it’s still going to hit you when you have to say goodbye.’
The last text I sent to her was… ‘I think your girl is in love.’
Laura and I have had many conversations over these last few months. Many of our talks are about moments like this. The little things in life we don’t want to miss.
One thing this journey has taught us, is how we view life. We look at people differently. We listen to what they say and how they say it. There have been times when we have met someone new or seen someone talk on TV, usually the words that would follow would be… They ‘get it.’ That means you understand what’s important in life.
A person who ‘gets it’ looks for the good in every day. They cherish every moment with family and friends. They value the simple things in life, because they know the simple things really are the big things. They let people know they care. These people are always positive. They don’t let life bring them down. And if you are lucky enough to know one of these people, you can guarantee they are going to help you in life.
There is a quote by Maya Angelou that I really like, it reads…
“I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
That’s a good quote.
We all have encountered people who seem like their world doesn’t line up with ours. Some of these people can seem, what one would say… difficult. These are the people I am always trying to figure out. I don’t know if life hasn’t hit them hard enough, they haven’t had the hardships that make them value life more, or they just plain don’t understand. I wish they knew what I know. Life changes in an instant. Your world can be turned upside down so fast you don’t even know how it happened. Time is the most important thing you wished you had more of. Because it is those simple moments in time that are the most valuable things you will ever cherish in life. Be there for people. Care about people. Take the time to invest in their lives. Listen to their stories. Help them in life. Life is hard. All a person really needs is someone to understand. I know I am not perfect, I’m not where I want to be. But I listen, I pay attention, and I learn every day.
On the last leg of our journey home, I was thinking about all of this and more. Many times, I would put my thoughts into words and randomly share them with Clint and Laura.
This is one of those times…
‘Have you ever thought… Maybe it’s not so much people don’t ‘get it’. Maybe they don’t even know they are not getting it, because they are limited by what they have been allowed to feel. Maybe… It is that God has chosen us to have the kind of heart, the soft heart, that sees more light in the day, that feels more deeply the depths of sadness, the simplest of joy and the purest of love. Maybe… It’s not so much people are mean, cold hearted or cruel. Maybe they are limited on what they feel. Maybe God chooses a handful of people in this world that is privileged enough to have a heart closest to His. And with that… The responsibility we carry is… What makes us hurt more, feel more and appreciate more.’
Vacation was over. We are home and life was back to normal. Well I should say… A new normal.
Laura had been asking me for a few days now to help her write. “I want you to help me write something for Doctor R. He is retiring this month. You are so good with words, so I know you can help me say what it is I want to say. I want it to be special.”
In the past, when she has needed help writing a card, I would tell her to jot down things she would like to say. Have an idea or a direction you would like to go, then put all those things together to bring out what you want that person to feel. She told me she has the thoughts and ideas in her head, but she doesn’t know how to turn all of that into words. I encouraged her she could do it. You just have to say what you feel.
I would help her if she had a hard time bringing it all together.
I told her to do the same with this.
“Are you ready to help me write?”
‘What do you have so far? Haha.’ I was already laughing before I knew the answer. “Nothing! LOL. I do have a name of a red wine to buy.” ‘Laura, do you have any ideas on what you want to say? Write those down and I will help you put it together.’ “Okay, I will do my best. We can work on it on our lunch date.”
I already knew she would have NOTHING. And sure enough, she showed up at lunch with an empty piece of paper. “I just need you to help me. I have a picture frame and a little white lab coat. I know how I want to decorate it.” ‘Okay Laura, I will need some time. Tell me what you feel about him. I will see what I can come up with.’
As usual, I would write what she asked for. I would take the sentiments she wanted to express and put them into words.
I sent her a rough draft and hoped she liked what I had put together. I told her to change what she wanted, to make it more personal, or add to it if she wanted more. I am not too sure she ever changed a thing. I know now she didn’t.
One time a while back, she asked for help with a card. I think about this and it makes me laugh. We were sitting at Culver’s when she asked for my help. She wanted to say just the right thing.
I told her to get out a piece of paper and make some notes. Did she bring any paper with her? Nope! So on a handful of napkins we put it all together. At first, she acted like she was going to write it all down. Slowly, she pushed the napkin over and had me write on it. When I was done, she said, “That is perfect! I love it!” She didn’t want to change a thing.
Brandi was with us for dinner that night. She laughed as I said to Laura… ‘What are you going to add to it?’ Laura said… “Well I’m going to add my name.” In my sarcastic voice I said… “Well why don’t you just sign your name on the card and slide all of these scribbled up napkins inside. It will save you from having to do anything!!’ Haha! Oh Laura!
I finished her poem for the doctor.
Here is what it said…
You have worn this coat for many years
Imagine the stories it could tell-
This coat has shown
Hope, Strength, and Compassion
It has soaked up many tears
Just as it has eased the minds of fear-
This coat is a sign of Trust, of Hope and of Love
As you hang the coat up for the very last time
Rest, Relax and have Fun
Take pride in your heart
A lifetime of serving
Good Job
God Bless
Well Done
We had a funeral to go to. A friend of ours had unexpectedly lost her brother.
The funeral was across town and we were already running late. It surprised us when we pulled into the parking lot to see the line of people out the door. I’m guessing there must have been hundred or more people at this man’s funeral. Wow!
This man was really loved.
We waited patiently until we finally reached our friends. We hugged them both and told them we were sorry. I wish we knew the right words to say. At times like these, you just can’t find them.
You know… Every time I go to a funeral my mind goes into overload. I can’t help but think of all the lives that have just changed. It saddens me to know these people must go through this, especially when it happens to someone so young.
We didn’t stay long. We didn’t even go into the chapel. We met with our friends out in the hall. We just wanted to be there for them and let them know we care.
We had a long drive back home that night. It was dark out and I was being quiet. I didn’t feel like talking. I had something on my mind.
Earlier that day, Laura and I met for lunch. It wasn’t our typical casual lunch like we’ve had many times before. It was a heart to heart serious conversation.
I remember sitting there across the table from her. As soon as I sat down, she started crying. Her emotions were all over the place. I couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong. The waitress came by to take our drink order. As soon as she saw Laura, she politely walked away. I could see the people around us, all watching us. Even strangers were wondering what was going on.
It didn’t matter to Laura if she cried in the restaurant. This wasn’t the first time and probably wasn’t going to be the last. This was one of many times, so I was used to it.
I asked her, ‘What’s going on?’ Laura didn’t want me to talk. She just wanted me to listen. I sat there watching the tears run down her face, waiting for her to speak. She was having a hard time trying to get the words out. And if I tried to say anything… She would stop me by putting her hand up and shaking her head no. She said it again… “I just want you to listen.”
After a few minutes she calmed herself down and told me what she wanted me to hear. She thanked me for being there for her these past nine months. And then she cried a little more. She kept telling me over and over… “Thank you for helping me through this cancer.” She wanted to make sure I knew what being there for her… Meant to her. I didn’t think I was doing anything more than what a friend would do. I told her that! Clint and I always say… ‘That’s just what we do.’
This conversation… I carried with me the rest of the day. I wasn’t quite sure how to feel.
On our drive home I was texting with Laura. I told her we had just left a funeral. I told her about my friend, Veronica, and the conversation we had.
When it came our turn to pay our respects, my friend started to cry. I reached out and hugged her. I just hugged her. We didn’t say any words.
Vern looked and me and said… “I did good all night, with all these people here. I didn’t cry. I didn’t cry until I saw you.”
I told Laura, ‘Sometimes people can say or do something that touches your heart deeper than you can ever touch theirs. That happened to me twice today. At lunch when you told me I helped you through cancer, and tonight through a gentle hug and some tears.’
Laura texted back, “It’s true. You are a wonderful friend. A great listener, and someone who will be in my life forever. You do what a friend does. You are there to listen and tell stories. To say you can do this! You did that for me. You were there for me. You went through this journey with me. I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d rather do it with. You are an amazing person. Thanks today for listening to me. I really appreciate you being there for me. Love you.”
What do you say when someone tells you that? I never thought I was doing anything special. Just doing what a friend would do.
Sometimes you don’t realize the impact you have on a person’s life. I didn’t. Both of these people touched my heart today. Deeper than they will ever know.
People don’t need a lot from other people, just a caring heart and some understanding.
I answered her back with… ‘I have no words. I do disagree with the amazing part. I haven’t even written your poem yet. You may not like it. Ha! Just being a friend. Thanks! Love you too.’
Laura ended this conversation… “Life can change just like that. Live each day like it’s your last. Each day is a blessing.”
Wow! What a special day. I’m the one who feels so blessed.